You can imagine my dismay when I found out that I cannot graduate without stats. Figures. So my first attempt at stats didn't go so well, I blame my prof. She doesn't speak English very well, and she zoomed through all the topics and she didn't leave any room to ask questions. I hated it during the exam, I stared at the problems without a clue what to do. FUCK! Often times I just wanted to get up and leave and never come back, I hate feeling dumb. I kept on thinking what the point is, I never planned on being a researcher, which is what stats, or should I say that's what parameters, are used for. My first fail.
The second time around I was set, I knew the material and I knew what to expect. I was going to pass. Turns out I didn't know, I still couldn't grasp the material and I couldn't quite put my finger on the prof's accept. I think he's Sri Lankan or something. He too zoomed through the course material, so that, coupled with his accent, made it hard for me to get through the course. It didn't help that the first class he told us that 80% of us will fail the course. That same blank stare came back during the exams, I recognized nominal, ordinal, interval, and ratio scales, I could navigate SPSS moderately well, I could read the statistics language (understanding it was another matter), but that was it. My second fail.
The third time around was psych stats. I bit the bullet because I figured I was a psych major, I should have psych stats. My prof was Canadian and he spoke English clearly and humorously, he presented the material in a way that was memorable and I actually liked going to class! By now I could recognize most of the material on the exams and my stares weren't so blank, but my prof was clever with his questions. He keenly chose things that I wasn't so good at. But I'm not blaming him for my inability to get the material, I spoke to a learning analyst and he told me that I was jumping into the middle of a lake without first knowing how to swim, that made perfect sense. By the second exam I was at 48% and it would've taken a miracle for me to pass the course. Mathematically I needed 80% on each item on the syllabus to pass. My third fail.
Psych stats was harder, we had to learn about linear regression, ANOVA, Multiple linear regression, plus we needed to write an APA paper. My fourth and final time (Pass or fail) at stats was with the author of the stats textbook. I was determined to pass this class, I armed myself with the advice given to me by the learning analyst, I recruited a tutor who, as it turns out, help write the stats text, and I had a classmate that I could compete with throughout the semester. Things were going well into the first exam, not so well at the second exam, and I bombed the third exam. My prof was cheering me on, my tutor was basically holding my hand the whole way through. After the third exam I just wanted to give up again, I needed a miracle again. I couldn't withdraw, I needed to maintain my student loan. I prayed to my late naani for help, I prayed to everybody! Everyday that I walked up to campus I imagined my naani walking with me, I pictured all my ancestors walking with me. I just did my best for the rest of the class.
On the morning of the final exam I decided that I wasn't going to go. There was no point. As I laid in bed something literally pushed me out of bed, it was like I didn't have a choice in the matter. I walked into the exam room, pen and cue card in hand, and nothing else mattered, even my love for my baby and little family at home. It was really just me and the exam. No blank stares, I knew the material, it was just a matter of time. The big thing for me was chose the appropriate test. We were given a scenario and we had to chose the right test based on the info we were given. On my cue card I had written a flow chart that described what variables go with what tests. Every time I was using the flow chart, "follow the yellow-brick road, just follow the yellow-brick road" ran through my head. I did very well on the paper, I never kept track of my grades on my labs, and I needed at least 50% on the final exam to pass the course. But I needed more than 50% to compensate for my past failures
I left the exam and everything came flooding back into my conscience again. All my worries, my fear of this class preventing me from grad. I went home and rested in the fact that I had tried and I did my best. At 5pm that day I received an email from my prof:
Prof: you got 67% on the final exam
so if your lab mark is really great- you will almost make 60% for a C-
we will see what we will see
Me: SERIOUS??!! I'm CROSSING MY EVERYTHING!
Prof:I claim the discretion to up a student's grade if he or she has shown great improvement over the term
Me:Let's hope I've improved enough!!! It would be thanks to the tutor
Me:I'm cleaning my floor in hopes to up my karma points! Seems silly...
Prof:Seems to have worked out for you-floor cleaning:)
CONGRATULATIONS DAMIAN - YOU MADE IT ON YOUR OWN- You ended the course with 60.4% and you earned your C-
I can tell you that it gives me great pleasure to see you achieve this. I would have bumped you up if you were close but I did not have to do that.
WHOOOOOOO HHAAAAAAAA WALLA WALL
GOOD FOR YOU
Whenever the Chicago Blackhawks score, a song called Chelsea Dagger plays. That was the song that was playing when I read that last message, I was hootin and hollerin, I was dancing and singing, my heart was the most happy it'd ever been since my baby was born!
I'm in intermediate stats now (PSY319) and things are so much better. It's the calm after the storm and we just completed our first real-world study and wrote our paper, and did an oral presentation. As it stands, I'm sitting at a B. Oh yeah, stats aren't so bad now that I look back!
Don't tell any Canucks fans that I listen to Chelsea Dagger by the way.
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